Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Rule #1

So, we have a list of "Truths" around here. Rule #1, Babies are gross. Rule #2, refer to rule #1.

And they are. Really disgusting little creatures. Their exploration of self and surroundings leads to some discoveries which turn the tummy.

First of all, they are booger making machines! I've become quite handy with the nasal aspirating bulb--can free a stuck bat from the cave in under 10 seconds. But their favorite method of boog-removal is simply rubbing their nose crazily on my shirt until it's relocated.

All three of our kids have suffered from quite severe reflux, so for a while it was kind of a barf bath around here. It was a good day if we (the caretakers) only went through three shirts each, and maybe just one change of pants. You'll notice that our kids have bibs on in all their pictures from about 2 months to 7 months. Once they started solids, it mellowed out a bit, but bibs were required attire for quite a while.

Of course, then there's the poop. Again, until solids started, we could count on one "blow-out" per day. These were up-the-back nightmares requiring a full bath and lots of scrubbing of the victimized clothing. These tiny little miracles produce more pollution than BP. I estimate on a particularly "active" day, we change about 12 poopy diapers. It's even worse during teething, when 12 can come from one kid.

Some of the things the girls do are just plain bizarre. And gross. Devynn discovered her tongue not long ago, and began pulling at it. She couldn't get it she put her hand further and further down her throat. Well, you can imagine how THAT ended. Fortunately, this phase only lasted a couple of days.

Recently, Devynn has begun spitting large amounts of drool on the linoleum, then sucking it back up. Not sure what this does for her development, but I say, Rock on with yo' bad self, Devvy!

So, in addition to being gross, babies are expensive! I remember many years ago a friend of mine saying kids aren't too expensive until they start school--only about $100 extra per month. Clearly inflation has affected this figure. Substantially.

Admittedly, formula is much more expensive than breastfeeding, but as previously mentioned, that's not a realistic option for us. The kids are all on the regular formula now, and we go through about 6 cans a week. That's about $350 a month. (When they were on the preemie formula, it was more expensive, but then, they didn't drink as much either.) Our kids kill about 25 diapers and 40-65 wipes on a particularly "active" day. That's about $330 a month. They eat about 35 jars of baby food and 3 boxes of rice cereal a week. Another $100 a month. And then there's desitin, tylenol, mylicon, poly-vitamins, hypoallergenic baby wash and lotion, fragrance/dye free detergents, blah blah blah. That $100 "extra" per month is looking pretty dated!

Ah, well. For all the puke, poop, boogs, money, gray hair, and wrinkles--they are worth it over and over again.

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