I analyzed statistics for virtually every aspect of my pregnancy so I'd know the likelihood of various outcomes. For example, there was only a 12% chance of both Cassie and I becoming pregnant. Babies conceived through IVF are 5% more likely to be boys than girls. Ten percent of women develop preeclampsia during pregnancy. Ten percent of those develop HELLP syndrome.
Based on my experience with statistics, the more probable an event, the less likely it is to happen to me.
I managed to land on the improbable side of all those statistics, but one can't always be so lucky.
Parents of multiples are 17% more likely to divorce. And here, I'm just another statistic.
After 13 years together, Cassie and I called it quits. This happened over a year ago, and it is old news to most everyone. I have no desire to air all the dirty laundry, but my new status as a single parent changes nearly everything in my little family. It's the next page of our journey and it will inevitably be full of its own challenges and delights.
The long and short of the "cause" of this break up: we forgot to take care of each other. Amidst the baby bottles, sleep deprivation, constant sniffles, headaches, backaches, toothaches, and heartaches, we lost sight of one another's needs and wants. We treated each other as co-workers, and after three years of that, we couldn't get back to "us". I mention this not to point fingers, make anyone feel uncomfortable, or stir up conflict, but as a word of caution. Whatever life situation a couple discovers themselves in, that relationship absolutely must remain a priority. Hectic work schedules, sick children, financial struggles, or just the mundane of life can all overshadow a marriage. How quickly it happens! When the dust clears, the resentment and apathy are all that's left standing.
So here we sit, figuring out a parenting plan, financial arrangements, division of assets, division of debt-- and we have five girls with broken hearts. All of us for our different reasons, but no one is unscathed.
Take care of one another. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be careful with the hearts of the ones you love. The loss of a relationship has far-reaching effects. Especially on the little ones.
